The Birth of Our Baby

(I'm still doing Ripped in 30! It's going good and I feel better, stronger and more energetic than I have in a long time. But today's post is about my butter bean, Weston Sherman Carter. He got his middle name from his dad....and I wouldn't have it any other way.)

The 2 loves of my life. I can't imagine my life without either of them and am truly blessed to have Matt as my husband and as the father of my child. We hope...JUST kidding : )

I can't believe my baby is 5 months. 5 months! They have been the most trying 5 months and the most wonderful 5 months of my life. I know everyone tells you that's how parenthood is...the hardest and the best thing you'll ever do. It's true. But I didn't really get it until I lived it. And to think, I'm only 5 months in.

 7 week sonogram....we were officially parents

I started having contractions on Sunday, February 5th, during the Super Bowl. I didn't know that's what they were though. I had back labor, so I wasn't feeling tightening in my stomach/uterus. I was just feeling these waves of intense pressure in my lower back....and especially in my bootay. We were watching the game at some friends' house just down the street from our house, and I told Matt we probably needed to go home because I felt weird. Such a good husband. He kept asking me if I thought it was contractions, but I kept assuring him that no, these weren't what contractions were supposed to feel like. Everything I had read and everyone I has spoken to insisted that I would KNOW when I was having contractions. Well, I didn't know. I just kept having this weird pressure every 10, 15, sometimes 30 minutes. I didn't sleep much Sunday night and by Monday morning, I was rethinking my stance on the not-contractions I was having.

I don't know exactly when this was taken, but I'm pretty sure I felt as huge and exhausted as I looked. Fun times. There towards the end, my watermelon belly snuck out of even maternity tops.

I went to work on Monday because, even though I had determined these WERE in fact contractions, they weren't consistently 5 minutes apart. That's the doctors' rule, if you didn't know. Don't come to the hospital until you have contractions 5 minutes apart or less, for an hour. The contractions I was having were uncomfortable, but nothing I couldn't handle. So I worked all day, and by the time I went home on Monday, the contractions were stronger and no more than 15 minutes apart. So I went to bed Monday night, and only got a couple hours of sleep because of those darn contractions....they were getting ruthless.

19 week sono....It's a BOY!

Tuesday morning was the same story. I would have 3 or 4 contractions a few minutes apart, but then I'd go 10 or 12 minutes without one. So I figured I'd go back to work. You probably think I'm weird for doing this, but I've got a few good reasons, including:

1) I was hurting and didn't want to sit at home by myself all day, feeling sorry for myself and being bored.

2) I wanted to save my maternity days for when I had the baby.

3) People don't expect you to do much work when you're having contractions, so I let myself take it easy while....errr...working.

4) Matt has 2-3 week breaks from school every few months and his upcoming break was going to line up with my maternity leave. The more days I worked now, the more days I got to spend with hubby and baby later.

By Tuesday afternoon, I had to brace myself every time I felt another contraction coming on. If I was talking to someone, I had to turn away because of the ugly face I knew I was making with each painful contraction. I began to worry that it wasn't safe for me to drive myself home. But I made it through the day and got home safely. The contractions got worse as the evening progressed and I was turning into an emotional-sleep-deprived-contraction-having hot mess. I cried because I felt helpless. The contractions STILL weren't consistently 5 minutes apart, but the pain in my lower back/butt was constant now and went from bad to worse with each contraction. I couldn't lay down because it made me hurt worse. Matt went to bed and I stayed in the living room, sitting indian style in front of our couch, laying my head on it for "rest".

27 week 3d sono....we finally see our baby's face. These pictures creep some people out.

I didn't sleep that night. Not. At. All. I knew by 11 PM that I wasn't going to work on Wednesday. I was getting this baby out one way or another. I was tired, but mostly, I was hurting. At about 2 AM, I started vomiting after each contraction from the pain. I'm serious. It was intense. Matt woke up to check on me and asked if I was ready to go to the hospital. I told him we would go, but he needed to get some more sleep because it was going to be a long day and I wanted him to be as rested as possible. I think I should win the wife of the year award for that. By 4:30, I was ready to go. I remember the drive to the hospital, I was so afraid they were going to tell me to go back home, that my contractions weren't close enough together. I was TERRIFIED of this. Hormones do weird things to your mind.

We got the hospital at 5 AM, I got checked by a nurse, and was dilated to a 5. Hooray! They weren't kicking me out! I got to stay! I WAS HAVIN' A BABY! We called our families and let everyone know that today was the day we would meet Weston.

I should inform you that Matt and I had decided we wanted a natural birth, with the well-being of baby and mama as top priority. We made this decision after researching, praying, and deciding what was best for our family.

By 11 AM, I was hurting like I had never hurt before. Times a thousand. This went on until 2 PM when I was dilated to an 8. We were almost there. I asked the nurse what we could do to speed things up because I couldn't handle much more of this. She informed me that they could break my water for me, but that would make my contractions MORE painful. WHAT?!? Um, I'm sorry, but....that didn't seem possible. I asked for a moment with my husband. I told Matt that I didn't want to disappoint him, but I wanted an epidural. I told him that if I was in any more pain, I was going to go crazy or I was going to die. And at the time, I meant it. Matt was so great. He was so understanding and loving and caring. He didn't argue or show disappointment. He just loved me and supported my decision. We called in the nurse and they had to bring in the anesthesiologist immediately, since I was running out of time. I got the epidural at 2:45 PM, my water broke on its own around 3:20 PM, I started pushing at about 3:45, and Weston was born at 4:56 PM. 

This post isn't intended to scare you away from having children. I guarantee you that millions of other women have had FAR more traumatic experiences with childbirth. It is different for everyone. Some women love it. some women go through it with virtually no pain. Some women suffer for hours. It wasn't easy for me. It was a long, painful process. But I would do it a thousand times if I had to for my sweet boy. And childbirth is NOTHING compared to parenthood. The hard part doesn't even start until you get home with that baby. But again, SO worth it.

I'm so thankful that God blessed Matt and I with Weston. He has already brought so much joy to our lives. I am so blessed to be this boy's mama. Weston Sherman Carter, you mean the world to me and I love you to the moon and back. Times a thousand.

One Month

 

Two Months

Three Months

Four Months 

Five Months

Hiccup...Day 8

I feel good today. I woke up at 5:15 and did Ripped in 30, then did another 15 minutes of a Jillian Michaels ab video. But I have to admit, I skipped Tuesday and Wednesday. Boo. Boo on me. But you know what? That's ok, because I'm not stopping or quitting or throwing away the entire week. I'm sticking with it. I have bad days, but I'm moving forward!

I have been struggling with the issue of when to work out. In the evenings? But I just. want. to. relax. I go all day and after I put Weston down, I like to spend time with my husband, pick up my house, clean my kitchen, take a bath....not work out.

I could work out right when I get home. Yeah right. With a 4 month old baby who gets fussy in the evening? I can't squeeze 10 minutes of uninterrupted time in when Weston is awake, much less 45 minutes. And you know what? I don't want to work out when Weston is still up. I only get to spend about 2 hours with him in the evening and I'm not willing to sacrifice that time to workout, even if he were to sit there quietly. That's good quality mama and baby time and I eat up every second of it.

So how about lunch at work? Well....I guess I could work out then. And I did once. But then I'm all sweaty and have to scarf down my lunch. And I just feel like a hot mess for the rest of the day. Plus I use my lunch break to run to the grocery store at least once a week so I don't have to go after work. So...lunch isn't a good option either.

Mornings? But I'm tired. No, I'm exhausted. EXHAUSTED! 6:30 rolls around too early as it is. Why would I want to change that to 5:15?? I wouldn't. I don't. So mornings don't work either.

You see the pattern? Do you??!? No good time to work out. I wish I was one of those people who had a good time to work out. Wait...THOSE PEOPLE DON'T EXIST.

I (you...we) can make excuses all we want, but the truth is, you have to MAKE time to exercise. It's never going to be convenient, and you're always always ALWAYS going to have something you'd rather be doing. But I want to get stronger, healthier, and leaner. I want it more than an extra hour of sleep. I want it more than a bubble bath. I want it more than a chocolate chip cookie. I want it bad! So I'm going to continue to work towards it. One day at a time.


When do you work out? What do you use as motivation? How do you stay consistent and what do you do when you have an 'off'' day?

Day 5: A day off

I wasn't planning for Sunday to be my day off for the week, but Matt came home and we ran some errands, got home late (meaning 7:30, which is late in baby-time), and I decided to take the night off. I used the evening to prepare my lunches and snacks for the week. I made salads for each day of the week and put mixed berries into containers to take as afternoon snacks.

I have found that preparation plays a HUGE role in my eating habits. I can write out the menus, make the lists, buy the groceries, and plan on eating healthy all week, but if I don't go ahead and chop my veggies, make my salads, and even grill chicken ahead of time (for lunches), I find myself throwing a frozen pizza in the oven for dinner. Or I rush out the door in the morning without making my lunch and wind up eating a burger and fries. Boo. And spending $$ on that burger and fries. Double boo. Don't get me wrong, I like burgers and fries. And pizza. And mexican food and chocolate and chips and cheese. But I'm trying to get healthier. I'm trying to make changes that will turn into habits that will give me a healthier life.

So tonight, I reunite with Jillian Michaels.

Day 4 and a weekend with Weston

I'm 4 days in and don't mind the workouts nearly as much as I did days 2 and 3. I'm trying to make healthy changes to my diet too. I'm getting bored with week 1 of the Ripped in 30 series and am ready for week 2, where I'm sure I'll meet a whole new round of soreness. Onto more exciting (and cuter) things...

Matt was gone this weekend so it was just me and Weston. We ran some errands Saturday morning and visited my sister-in-law and Weston's cousins Saturday afternoon. Weston took his first dip in a pool and wasn't crazy about it. We'll try again in a month or 2. It was so nice to get to spend the whole day with my little man :) I can't get enough of this guy. But we missed his dad and can't wait for him to get home this afternoon!

Day 3

Day 3 is done! The workout isn't as bad as day 1, and I can tell my body is already getting used to working out again. Hooray! My muscles are still sore, but it's not unbearable. 3 more days of week 1 then I'm on to week 2! Hope everyone has a good weekend!

Day 2 and Some Extra Goodness

Day 2 is done! I am sore. And tired. And my jello-like arms can barely support my hands to write this post. But I finished. And I didn't have the same....issue as yesterday. Hooray! I did this workout. I also did 3 miles on the treadmill at work on my lunch break. I know working out is never easy, but I don't remember it being this hard. I don't mean physically, I mean finding the motivation. Fortunately I've got this blog and some great friends holding me accountable. My point is, however, that I know it will get easier. Once it becomes habit and routine, I like to think I won't dread it quite as much. Anyway, my sweet husband got home right at the end of my workout. He was impressed that I kept my lunch down.

Post workout. 

 With my bored dogs fan club.

On a baby note, I tried cereal with Weston tonight. It was cute, but mostly just messy. He ate quite a bit though. And smeared almost as much all over his face.

And then looked so cute I could have kissed him for hours after his bath. But he is in a moody phase these past few days so I snuck in about a minute's worth of sugar then called it quits.

By the way, I work out after I put my little pumpkin to bed. I think a lot of people have chill babies who just sit there and entertain themselves for 10, 15, 30 minutes at a time. I don't have one of those babies. He has a 2 minute attention span and is quite verbal about his need for someone to hold/carry/play with him. Because of this it's difficult to work out, cook, clean, go to the bathroom, and/or relax while little one us up. I enjoy it since I don't get to see him all day while I'm at work, but some days it's just plain exhausting. Babies are hard, by the way. In case you didn't know. A whole post on that to come.

Day 1 of 42

Day one was rough. I realized just how awfully out of shape I am. You would think I'd already know this, since I haven't worked out consistently in....excluding the month before my wedding....err years. But nope, it came as quite a shock last night when, 25 minutes into my 35 minute workout video, I had to stop and go hurl. True story. I won't go into details because a) no one really want to hear the details and 2) it's rather embarrassing that the situation occured at all. I did go back in, rewind my video, and finish the workout. In the future, I won't work out right after dinner. Bad idea.  I won't let myself get this badly out of shape either. Also a bad idea.

I am doing Jillian Michael's Ripped in 30 series. My friend Whitney showed me this website where you can view tons of workout videos for free (yippee!). So at least I got my big butt kicked for free.

I started thinking about the last time I was really confident in the way I looked in a swimsuit and I dug up a picture of close to that time. This is before my junior year of college when some girlfriends and I went to Destin, Florida for some fun. I worked out enough, but I didn't develop the healthy habits I'm working on this time. I read something good today. It said, if you want to change your life, you have to start by changing your lifestyle.

I'm on the right....that's my gorgeous skinny friend Tabitha on the left.

P.S. I want to go back to Florida. After I get in shape.